Free «The Flaws of Online Dating» Essay

Cupid Strikes the e Way

The power of the Internet cannot be underestimated in the transformation that has rocked the world. It has made distances drastically reduce and has enhanced the speed with which communication takes place. It has, plainly speaking, rendered the world flat. There are, however, certain things which have fallen flatter. These are the aberrations that are to be reckoned with things that have the capability of bringing about a revolution. Online Dating is one such aberration of the Internet. The degree of the aberration is what is to be determined. What the pros and cons of online dating are is a matter being explored each day, progressively.

Love has caught on to a completely newer version. The online dating sites act as the mediator to unite soul mates, supposedly so. How many of the match making made through this medium pass the endurance of relationship? How many of them have to face the trauma of fraudulent imposters posing as genuinely interested lovers looking for their soul mates and in the shadow of this false truth harness their ulterior motives? How many of the nuptials that are knotted as a result of the matches made though the online dating sites see the light of the day? Many such questions are reverberated in this paper.

There are millions of such sites that have crept today. Despite the rising cases of love gone sour and matches that saw hell, the use of the online dating sites continues to rise. Online dating is a flourishing industry today. There were days when matches were arranged by the signature of the elderly. Then were the days when two souls met in a given situation and there struck a chord which sounded like love. The wedding bells rang to celebrate the union of two souls. These were the traditional old days. While these are still not lost into oblivion, there is the mediation of the internet way of falling into love. It is the cupid striking the e way.

What attracts people to Online Dating sites?

Online dating sites are of two types. There are sites which do not charge anything for browsing and those which charge a fee. Maximum people who do browse through online dating sites use the sites which are free. Statistics say that about 55% singles in the United States use the online dating sites to find a match for them.

What is it then that makes online dating sites so attractive? People believe that online dating sites provide them with many profiles at the same time. The sites provide one with profiles based on a scientific algorithm; matches which are most compatible with the users. It is then up to the user to decide which one the user would be eager to build a relationship with. People believe that if one wants to look for a partner then one has to explore the arena. Unless one makes the effort the materialization is least likely to take place. Communicating with people without knowing their backgrounds or their intentions is a tough task indeed. This is where the online dating sights help the most. These sites gather personal information and a person can pursue an interest based on the background information available on these sites. Being on an online dating site shows an interest in matchmaking. This removes a certain degree of hesitation in people in being direct about seeking a relationship.

The online dating sites are a cost effective way of looking for a relationship. People have testified that looking for a date online helps them in saving the costs that they would otherwise have to incur in pursuing a relationship. One can make communicate and go further if the other person seems worthy of interest.

One can showcase as much amount of private information as one wishes to. Further information can be revealed only when one feels comfortable in doing so. Women may choose a location for a face to face date where they would be more comfortable. This removes the fear of meeting a stranger with malicious designs.

The cost of joining an online dating site is about $20-$50 per month on an average. These are the costs incurred on paid sites. There are a great many websites which are free. While the degrees of risk in both the type of sites are high, the paid sites still ensure a great deal of monitoring and background verifications on the people who have enrolled on their websites. The checks have increased considerably since the numbers of fraudulent cases have risen.

Online dating sites do not depend on the historic notion of the stars deciding your perchance meeting with that someone special. Meetings are scheduled depending on your own availability. One can feel compatibility while communicating online and can then move on to decide the date.

With the wide array of profiles one can simply browse and seek one’s most sought after profile again and again. The online dating sites filter through the profiles and give you the maximum number of profiles that match your want. These websites help you in trimming down your search extensively and it is totally your choice to go forward with whatever you think deserves you the best.

With a host of advantages that online dating sites offer, more and more people are becoming active on this medium of finding a soul mate for life. The cost effectiveness, the relative ease with which one can seek people of their types and the advantage of setting things based on your terms and conditions makes this solution to date seekers, a blessing. Despite the intentions of matchmaking and easing people’s lives there is a degree of dissonance that has been felt with the use of these sites. Dissonance which has impacted many lives and makes people hesitant to use these sites. It is for this very reason that people are not willing to give all their personal information browsing these sites.

Online Dating: A ground for deception and fraud

Online dating industry is on the rise. Every month more and more are creating their profiles on online dating websites. People do not want to keep all their eggs in one basket. They look to develop relationships outside and online as well. They want to leave no stone unturned in their quest for a loving partner. The question that one needs to ask is: Is everyone who browses through online dating sites actually on the lookout for a life partner or a potential date? How many people have a malicious intent amounting to physical or emotional harm based on their own psychic makeup? How many people who do get to hear the wedding bells, later on turn violent or show their true motives behind the nuptial? Questions like these sound alarm bells for people all over. There are cases gone awry. People meet online and become friends only to realize that the person they began trusted was a trickster or was after monetary gains. Ample such cases mark the books of cybercrime and raise caution for people who are attracted to this medium of matchmaking. Is it really worth the while in comparison to the traditional medium of bonding?

How much information sharing is enough on the online dating websites? Information such as name, age, gender, occupation, and interests are typical information that one fills. How authentic is all that information? For, if one is browsing a profile and finds the perfect match for self only to discover later that the person is not with the same face that one saw while browsing the profile, how is one supposed to react?

It is said that the foundation of a relationship is the truth. If people are unwilling to share correct information about them then how can the relationships foster in reality. Here again, argument can be based on two points. Deception may be where one person has a completely malicious motive such as defrauding a person monetarily and thereby all information provided will be to make the other party feel like he’s dug into gold. On the other hand deception can be light. People may try and give false impressions about their interests being in alignment with those of the people they want to match up with. The question is what and who to believe in this complex web of people.

Even if the online dating companies provide a sort of a guarantee on the genuineness of an individual on their database can they really guarantee that the person will not turn hostile tomorrow? It’s very uncertain!

There have been some cases of online dating which have given people the fear of their lives. More and more cases are coming up each day which signals the ferocious nature of the online dating. There was a case of a lady who started to communicate with a person over an online dating website. They exchanged numbers and began talking. They started to like each other too. All the information that each of them provided was true and they grew fond of each other too. However, the love was not to last too long as the person the lady started to talk with was suffering from depression and had even contemplated over suicide. He was a maniac and was very aggressive. The lady realized this when he shouted over her over the phone for petty things and decided to let go off the relationship. Some days afterwards the maniac showed at her doorsteps and that very night stabbed her. This was a cold blooded murder that shattered all online daters.

Besides the offensive crimes there have been petty cases where people show their fake profiles to lure people and then turn out to be agents who are just looking forward to cross sell and up sell their products based on the relationships that they have built. Thus, online dating has seen wavering itself from its real intention and turning into other commercial activities. How valid would that be for someone who is truly seeking a life partner?

There have been cases of credit card fraud, spamming, solicitations, identity mining, and profile misrepresentation based on the online dating mechanism. Cybercriminals are on the lookout for a common interest which in this case turns out to be the queerness of people to seek love and bonding. Cybercriminals make bait out of love and then pursue their evil designs. This leaves us pondering over the question of worthiness of this e way that cupid has found.

Online dating sites have given people a virtual freedom. They can show themselves the way want others to perceive them. There are no facial expressions involved while communicating. There is apparently nothing which can portray everything completely honestly unless one chooses to be honest. As people have grown diligent they are less likely to be completely honest themselves. Online dating is essentially based on the curiosity of pursuing rather than being honest and truthful in a relationship.

Research has shown that the greatest number of rejections have taken place on the basis of age and weight. People therefore lie about their physical characteristics. People upload fake profile pictures to portray themselves as good looking, young, and successful. This is especially true of the dating sites which are free. The subscribed sites too, are vulnerable to fraudulent activities and malicious behaviors. It is not easy to comprehend the complexity that earmarks the online dating websites. What seem correct turns out to be an illusion? Relationships demands trust, which is what is most difficult to find on these websites.

Success Rates and Satisfaction from Online Dating

There are no doubts that despite the uncertainty prevalent in online dating people are still migrating to the medium of online dating for match making. The industry is booming. There is hope and an expectation of being dealt a fair round. People feel it is worth a try no matter what risk they have to face. People feel that they would act smart and be cautious and hence escape the agony of being cheated.

Long term relationship takes patience, sacrifices and a lot of passion. The problem with online dating is what is being termed as “the click” problem. With such a large reservoir of profiles available to choose from people get agitated with small flaws in potential mates that they instantly dismiss a person and move onto another by just selecting another potential mate with a click of a mouse.

Matchmaking companies advertise excessively and exaggerate about the number of users and the number of successful marriages that have resulted through the use of their site. The truth is far is otherwise. Company advertising 15 million users are most likely to have only about a million registered users with others being free riders. The success rate is exaggerated too. Satisfaction surveys conducted show a poor satisfaction level in the users. Users have poor expectation of materialization of a relationship from online dating websites.  Besides there is a social stigma associated with online dating too. People, who use online dating sites, in some countries, are considered to be desperate, voyeurs and lacking self control. This makes people shun away from the use of online dating sites to some extent.

A survey conducted on online dating site eHarmony showed that people who were over 50 years of age found online dating as a very popular means of finding mates. This may be because they do not become very picky and choosy unlike the younger people. This showed that there is direct correlation between age and the probability of an online match making becoming successful.

The online dating companies indulge in a lot of gimmicks to ensure that they do get the maximum number of people visiting their websites. They have love experts who try and help people while they pursue their love interest online. There are communication guidelines for people who get perplexed in their pursuit. The online dating companies realize that low satisfaction surveys and low success rates an impact their business. In order to avoid losing users on their website as a result of low success rates and poor satisfaction surveys, the online dating companies are becoming fiercely competitive and provide offers and benefits along with tips and techniques on making the best out of the conversations made online.

Conclusion

Online dating is a fast growing industry. People are turning to this medium of match making as it is a cost effective and a relatively easier medium over which they can find people they might be compatible with. People find it difficult to speak directly about relationships in reality. The online medium provides them with a virtual hideout and they can be choosy about the amount of information that they divulge when conversing. The online dating websites provide people with a lot of profiles to make a choice from which is relatively easier than finding people in real life. One can find out someone of interest, make conversation and then take the next step. In the event of any dissonance they might walk out of the relationship whenever they might like. The online dating medium is therefore becoming a preferred medium over traditional dating.

However, despite the several advantages that online dating has there are numerous downsides to it as well. One cannot be sure about the true nature of the person they are communicating with online. The information that is on disclosure cannot truly be trusted. In fact, people are afraid to be completely honest about them through this medium. There have been many cases in online dating that have resulted in physical and emotional damage for people who have indulged in online dating. This has caused serious downside to the business. As a result of this online dating websites have come out with grander schemes and background verifications to check for people with malicious intents. However, despite all these efforts the authenticity of a user cannot be completely guaranteed. Notwithstanding the downside and the risks involved in online dating, the industry is growing and people are still scurrying along to this medium that man has invented for cupid to strike the heart. Love has completely got its new definition which is still growing despite the apparent aberrations seen.

There are speculations and skepticism about the success of online dating as a medium of matchmaking. However, even if one uses this medium one has to be cautious while trying to find a pair for self. Even though love is a matter of the heart and the cautions of rationality never seem to be enticing in its pursuit, one has to keep in mind that since the medium is a virtual one, the need for a partner has to be done with smartness. Women especially need to be careful about the kind of information they divulge while using online dating.